I don't remember signing up to be a functional member of society.

Stuff  has been happening and for the past week and I've been meaning to write about it because hilarious things happen to me on a daily basis that make me question the sanity of the world.

Most of the things I find hilarious happen on the bus. On top of being hilarious, they make me want to yank my hair out one hair at a time. Such as the man sitting across from me today who was smoking on one of those fake cigarettes that look like pens. Huffin and puffin away and I'm just sitting there staring at him like, uh I don't know the health regulation on those things but rude. I've also been glared at by elderly people riding the bus more than anything. They have it out to get me. I held open the door for some dude that was basically hobble walking so slow and he just stared at me...

YOU'RE WELCOME, SIR. HAVE A LOVELY DAY.

Jeez.

I adore my Spanish professor (he's 25, I feel weird calling him a professor but...). He is hilarious and basically lets the class rule the class. He also rags on students when they aren't there which I find hysterical. I even write down some of my favorite things he says because they made me laugh so much.

 Examples: "She really likes to chew her gum. I haven't heard anyone chew gum like that since the 90's."

"Yeahs there's a lack of brooding cloud in the corner when he's gone."

"I didn't have a travel mug so I used a regular mug. I was going down 394 and I spilled all over my clothes. I had my clothes from yesterday in my car so that's why I'm wearing yesterday's outfit which is really unfortunate because I looked CUTE."

Anyways. I sound like a super creep quoting him but guys, he's hilarious and it makes the class less boring. There's also the guy that is now called "Lurch" because that's basically what he is. He has one of those personalities and voices that just makes me clench my jaw and want to kick him in the nads. He's super rude and not funny even though he thinks he is.

I just hate rude people in case you can't tell.

Like don't be rude to me. You can be rude to anyone else but I'm overly nice to most people and really don't want scowl lines. Also, I hate people that just talk about themselves or take themselves super seriously. I'm young enough to still have the hope that everything in life is going to work out for me and your raining on my parade is really unfortunate. Don't make me stress more than I have to, I'm already a spastic gremlin half the time, don't make it worse for me.

Speaking of spastic. I GOT A JOB.
BOOM! MIC DROP.

But really I'm super excited. I'm working at the Barnes and Noble over by Ridgedale as a barista in the cafe and a book seller that works the floor. I'm really hoping this job is everything I've built it up to in my mind. I've always wanted to work there. I love being around books, they smell amazing and they don't care when I make grabby hands at them and ruin them with highlighting. My dream job would be to own my own used book store and have no one shop in it so I can just sit there and listen to music, drink coffee, and read.

Books man, they're awesome. More people should embrace them  (and by embrace I literally mean hug).

Plus, who knows, maybe I'll  meet some Starbucks drinkin book reading gentlefellow and we'll fall madly in love and have a Beauty and the Beast-esque library.

Dream big or go home.

So that's about it...Not really, but I don't feel like writing the next great novel on my blog.

Here, have a song by my current girl crush Lilly Allen: