Excuse me?
Ya'll are serious about sending me out into the real word? I'm actually going to have to function like an adult? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT A MORTGAGE IS. I STILL CAN'T PICK OUT WHICH GRANOLA BARS TO BUY.
While this news is very welcome after five years of school, as I've mentioned before, it's terrifying. I am so excited to be graduating just to be able to say that 'I did it!' and be the success in this regard that I've always wanted to be for myself as well as my family. I'll be a first generation college graduate! As such, adult decisions are having to be made, even now, before graduation.
Discussions were held this weekend about where I'll be living, what jobs I'm going to be looking for, what field I want to go in to, what I should be spending my money on, and so on and so forth. As I am graduating debt free (words cannot express how thankful I am to my parents for this. I'm witnessing the struggle of debt repayment with my friends and can't even fathom what I'd do in their situations seeing as I'm already stressed and I have less to be stressed about) I have the opportunity to do an internship with some place if I should so choose to do so.
How do people do real life? This is so stressful. I would be so much calmer if I knew what the hell I was doing, I do not like the unknown. Can I just jump forward like ten years and pray that I'm living in something other than a cardboard box, gainfully employed, and not be totally unhappy? Can someone just hire me and save me the stress of going through every online posting and freaking out over the fact that I don't know what half of the words are referring to? I thought college was supposed to prepare me for this nonsense? What is even happening?
Since I am already fretting about life, I've had to make some executive decisions about my some of the plans I had for this year. I do believe St. Louis Nationals will be cut for me this year. I'm dying to go but I just don't see how I can actually afford going to a concert there in August and then heading back at the end of September. I'm heartbroken about this decision, adult decisions suck. I've also made the decision to eat out way less and start packing a damn lunch. It's not hard, I'm just that lazy. To combat this laziness, I'm going to be joining a gym. I have no idea what gym because, like I said, I'm trying to save up money.
I'm hoping in eating out less and working out I'll gain some form of calm and snap out of whatever quarter-life crisis I'm having. Saving up some money will also go towards London with Erin next year.
Priorities, I must establish some.
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